The Love Languages of Cats: Caster

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we are talking “The Love Languages of Cats” on the blog this month. Unfortunately, many people don’t see cats as loving animals, but I’ve grown to realize this is just because they haven’t learned to understand a cat’s love language yet! We hope to shed some light on the many different ways cats may express their love by sharing about how the six crazy cats in our home express theirs. We started the series on Wednesday with Sophie’s Love Language, and today we will be sharing about Caster’s!

The Love Languages of Cats: Caster

Caster is on the opposite end of the “lovey spectrum” from Sophie. While Sophie is our most overtly lovey cat, Caster is definitely the most subtle when it comes to expressing love. His love language can be easily misunderstood and even misconstrued to be mean. However, once you learn his language, you will come to find that he is actually a big ol’ sweetheart.

Caster is a brute of a cat. He is big, fast, and strong, and he LOVES to run around the house whapping everyone, climbing the walls (literally), getting into trouble, and instigating wrestling matches. He is not a lap cat. He doesn’t purr. He doesn’t snuggle. He doesn’t give head butts. He doesn’t give kisses or love bites. Oh, and he doesn’t have a sweet meow – he has a whine and a grunt. Until you’ve learned to speak “Caster,” he just seems like a wild and crazy bully.

It took some work on our part, but we finally figured out that all of that whapping, grunting, and tackling is Caster expressing his love! If he is nervous or around someone new, he is well behaved, quiet, and calm. He was that way when we first rescued him too. It wasn’t until several days after joining our family that he started acting like the curmudgeon that he is. We’ve come to understand that Caster doesn’t just whap, tackle, or chase anybody – he only does that to the people and other kitties that he loves and is comfortable with. Once we realized that and started participating in his craziness with him, rather than getting annoyed, our bond with Caster deepened and a whole new level of lovey came through.

Caster in the Bathroom - Love Languages of Cats
I must say that Caster is the cutest bathroom helper

Now, he has a very sweet morning ritual of “helping” me to get ready in the mornings. When I get out of the shower, without fail, Caster is always there waiting for me on the bathmat outside of the tub. As I’m doing my hair and makeup, he sits on the bathroom counter watching me. When I’m finished, I pick him up and we walk over to the little window in the bathroom and look out onto the backyard together.  Then we make our way into the kitchen for breakfast, and he paws at my knee until I pick him up again so we can look out onto the backyard from the kitchen window.

He has developed quite an affinity for the bathroom actually. Besides hanging out with me when I get ready, he accompanies my husband or me whenever we use the restroom. He runs in and rubs against our legs until we’re done. Then he asks to be picked up so we can look out the window together.

As you can see, Caster definitely has his own unique love language, and it’s not an easy one to understand. I certainly don’t understand why he is the way he is, but I love and appreciate him for who he is. Perhaps he isn’t cuddly or purry or loving in the traditional sense, but he has his own ways of expressing his love, and I think they are endearing. I will let you in on a little secret though… every once in a while, something comes over him, and he decides that snuggling, purring, suckling, and making biscuits aren’t so bad. 🙂

The Love Languages of Cats: Caster Snuggling
A rare occurrence of Caster snuggling, suckling, purring, and making biscuits!

Do you have a cat with a complicated and hard-to-understand Love Language? If so, how did you finally come to understand it?

By Emily


  1. Reply

    Lone Star Cats

    Ya only whap da ones ya luv.

  2. Reply


    I think Binga is the Caster of our family! Although she sure does fool a lot of our visitors.

  3. Reply


    I love how you and your husband came to understand Catster and your routines with him. Pierrot is a little like him. He’s not a lap kitty, loves to grunt (but meows too), loves to be crazy and naughty. He likes to be petted when he’s in the mood and really likes to hang out with us. He always makes us laugh.

  4. Reply

    Random Felines

    awww – we think that the differences in how cats relate and express themselves is the reason sometimes people say they don’t “like” cats….it is more they don’t understand them

  5. Reply

    Three Chatty Cats

    Oh Caster, you’re so handsome. None of our kitties feel like they need to accompany us to the bathroom, thankfully. 🙂

  6. Reply

    da tabbies o trout towne

    dood…we think itz total lee awesum ewe iz yur own self ~~ N ya due stuff yur own kinda way; may bee yur settlin down a wee bit az time goez on..huh…N oh, we hope yur mom doez knot make ewe look at BURD out de window…..:)

    heerz two a green spotted puffer kinda week oh end two all !! ♥♥♥

  7. Reply


    It’s wonderful you’ve learned Caster’s language and you appreciate him just the way he is! He is a total sweetheart! Love how he helps you in the morning. And when you are using restroom, you are never alone, haha 🙂

  8. Reply

    M. K. Clinton

    Caster is a handsome cat and I would love looking out the window with him on my lap. He is definitely telling you how special he feels you are in his world. ♥

  9. Reply


    This is so cute!! Caster is adorable. Henry is usually pretty obvious when expressing his love – he cuddles, kisses, and smiles excitedly – but sometimes he “love growls.” Sounds weird, but it just means he wants to play!

  10. Reply


    I once had a cat that waited for me in the bathroom like that. He didn’t wait for me anywhere else, but he did in there.

  11. Reply

    Caren Gittleman

    I love how intuitive you are with your cats. I can see so much love in Caster’s face in the photo by the sink. It’s all there, in his eyes……..pure love. He is blessed to have a loving caring Kitty Mama like you!

  12. Reply

    The Island Cats

    Caster is one fun loving cat!

  13. Reply

    Hairballs and Hissyfits

    Caster is lucky that you understand his language of love!

  14. Reply

    Tenacious Little Terrier

    Mr. N is pretty obvious and gentle in his affections. He shoves his head under your hand for petting if he feels like it.

  15. Reply

    Melissa & Mudpie

    That’s so sweet. I wonder how many kitties are denied love because their humans don’t take the time to understand them.

  16. Reply

    Brian Frum

    You sure did a great job communicating with your peeps Caster, sometimes it takes work to get them to understand.

  17. Reply

    Pawesome Cats

    Caster is adorable! Every cat really does have their own way of communicating and seeking out special 1-on-1 time with their peeps. Charlie used to be my bathroom buddy but he seems to have outgrown that for now – he’ll be back in winter though, when I have the heat lamp on in there….

  18. Reply

    Ellen Pilch

    I am glad you figured out Caster’s unique way to express love 🙂 He is such a cutie.

  19. Reply


    I really do think that it’s important to “tune in” to our cats’ behaviors because otherwise they sometimes are considered “trouble” or “impossible”……I’m sure some of that inability to tune in (or willingness to try) is why a lot of animals are surrendered to shelters. Cats definitely march to their OWN drums! We just have to learn to listen to that rhythm and follow it – Catster is very lucky that you ARE tuned in and get that he shows his love in HIS way – not anyone else’s! He’s such a cutie………

    Hugs, Pam

  20. Reply

    Cathy Armato

    Aww, Caster seems like such a sweetie! I love how he waits for you on the bath mat, he wants to be close to you. He’s so gorgeous, I love the little tufts of fur in his ears, it’s so cute! We all have our unique ways of showing love.
    Love & biscuits,
    Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them

  21. Reply

    Ruth Epstein

    I love it when each pet has their own quirks and ways of showing love, it makes them special and unique and he is one of them

  22. Reply


    Caster is lucky that you took the time to understand that his “mean” behaviors were actually ways that he was showing that he loves and trusts you. I love your morning routine. Raven and I have a similar routine but she sits in the window sill without me holding her.

  23. Reply

    Lola The Rescued Cat

    I love this series. Lexy isn’t lovey dovey like Lola is, but she’s very affectionate with me. She follows me in the bathroom, sits on the sink, and paws at my arm to pet her. She’ll also roll over and show her belly to visitors once she has accepted them into the house. She doesn’t sit on my lap, but she’ll purr and look for pets from me.

  24. Reply

    Dash Kitten Crew

    Caster is a gem and so loving in his way isn’t he!

    Harvey has specific places he will cuddle (when I sit down to blog – sometimes, and cuddling up beside me at night Always!) while Dusty is still struggling to display affection but, he has a long history of trauma, so we are simply glad to get a raspy purr or a little headbutt.

  25. Reply

    Tonya Wilhelm

    Great post! I know both my dog and cat love me. But, my cat shows affection more than my dog! It’s a shame people don’t tap into their cats as much as their dogs.

  26. Reply

    Beth Patterson

    I didn’t grow up with cats, so when we brought a stray in, I didn’t really know what to expect. My two older sisters have a lot of experience with cats and explained to me about kneading, head butts, and love bites. Kitty will purr and knead quite a bit, but he doesn’t give head butts or love bites (which I’m glad about.) He was more affectionate before a new dog kicked him out of my lap, but he still seems content.

  27. Reply

    Golden Daily Scoop

    Caster is adorable! I enjoy all the ways our cat shows affection, knowing that the different ways can change from day to day. Some days she will jump on our lap to nap, other times she will just rub against me while I am making dinner. lol

  28. Reply


    It sounds like Caster’s a master communicator, if you ask us! 🙂

  29. Reply

    Sweet Purrfections

    Cats definitely express their love in different ways. Truffle and Brulee are so different from each other in the ways they express their love for me.

  30. Reply

    Talent Hounds

    Caster is quite the character. My Nala was too. She could often be very affectionate to me, but only on her terms – exactly when and where she wanted. She would sometimes go up to guests and people on the street and act friendly and affectionate (especially if they were allergic to cats) and demand to be rubbed but then bite or scratch when she’d had enough. They each have their own language.

  31. Reply

    Katie Allan

    Caster is so cute! Both my dogs are cuddlers. Gracie is more of the “lap dog” type cuddler. However, she is much more independent than Echo. I always jokingly say that Gracie would be fine living without humans, but if she HAD to pick a human, she’d pick me. LOL. Echo is more of a constant companion. He wants to be involved in everything I am doing. Always laying at my feet or trying to put his face in whatever I am looking at. Echo prefers 24/7 human contact.

  32. Reply


    Reminds me of Ollie. He was a happy kitten but puberty turned him into a grumpy ol man.. I miss his grumpy face every day

  33. Reply


    Caster is an absolute stunner. What a great name also

  34. Reply


    What a great way to describe and understand cat behavior! What a lucky guy Caster is!

  35. Reply


    Wow, we have nit had a kitty who loves like that! All of ours have been a tad more ‘traditional’!

  36. Reply


    Catster is such a cutie! It is so interesting how each cat has their own language. Manna is kind of like Catster. She isn’t a super lovey-dovey cat, but she can be when she wants to be. I’ve learned that one of the biggest things that you can do to show Manna that you love and understand her is to give her some space and let her make her own decisions. Spending time with Manna means just sitting somewhere in the same room. If you don’t force her to come to you, she may just come over and say hello. Sometimes, she even lets you know that she wants your attention right now! 🙂

  37. Reply

    Kitties Blue

    You know, each of us kitties has our own unique personalities. That final photo of Caster is so precious. He was very fortunate to be adopted by the Halls. We love the morning ritual. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo and Cooper Murphy
    Astrid sends Sampy all her love and a bajillion kitty kisses.

  38. Reply

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