The Love Languages of Cats: Sassy

This month, the month of love, we have focused on sharing about how each cat has their own specific love language, or way that they express their love. Just like humans, cats have different personalities, and each one may express their love in different ways. You can’t fit cats into a mold of how you think they should be loving or affectionate. Unfortunately, there are many people out there who do this. They have expectations of how a cat should express love and when the cat doesn’t meet those expectations, these people make generalized claims about cats being aloof and uncaring. In the many years I have shared my life with cats, I can testify that statements like those are just not true. Cats are actually very loving and very caring – you just have to take the time to figure out how they are. You have to learn to speak their individual love language.

If you’ve been following our series on the Love Languages of Cats, then you have seen in my home of 6 cats, I have 6 very different love languages being spoken. No two cats are alike, and I have had to learn each of their individual love languages in order to bond with them and have a happy and healthy relationship with each one. Some of their love languages were easier to understand than others, but learning how to communicate love with each of them has been one of the most rewarding and wonderful things I’ve done.

As we wrap up this series, I hope that you have learned something new about cats and how they express love, and that maybe you’ve even been inspired to make more of an effort to learn your cat’s love language if you haven’t already. Trust me, it’s worth it.


The Love Languages of Cats: SassySassy is our “street cat.” We rescued her from a stray-cat lifestyle a few years ago, unsure of where she came from or what her story was. All we knew was that she was an adult cat and had been living on the streets for who knows how long. My guess is that she had some negative encounters with other cats because she can’t stand to be around the other 5 cats in our house. She also has an extremely temperamental personality and can turn from sweet to aggressive on a dime.

Learning to understand Sassy’s love language was definitely the most difficult and frustrating one for me. The process took time, and I had to endure many rounds of hissing and biting (and I’m not talking love bites – I mean straight-for-the-jugular, blood-drawing bites). I won’t lie – there were times that I would get so angry at her and think that it was all a waste of time. However, after having those moments, taking a breather would always help and I would realize that I was wrong for thinking that way. I’ve still got some learning to do when it comes to Sassy, but I think I’ve become just about fluent in Sassy’s love language. So what have I learned?

  • Sassy loves to snuggle. Like can’t-get-close-enough-burrow-in-your-neck kind of snuggling. You just can’t move when she’s snuggling. You can’t adjust your positioning, move an arm, a leg, turn your head… nothing. Even heavy breathing is risky. If you move at all, she may give you a warning growl, or she may just go from purring to hissing and biting in a split second. I don’t know why, but that’s just the way it is. I’ve come to accept that, and I will let Sassy snuggle and burry all she wants. I just have to play dead 🙂
  • She loves to be petted. Especially on the head and face. She gets so into it that she purrs, poofs her tail, and drools.
  • She loves to be close. Because of Sassy’s temperamental personality*, she has her own living quarters so she doesn’t interact with our other cats. Her room doubles as my husband’s office as well, so she spends her days in my husband’s lap as he works on his computer, or beside him in his chair as he practices guitar.
  • She gives ear kisses. If she has an opportunity to lick your ears, she will take it. These ear kisses are usually accompanied by a poofy tail and purrs as well. It always makes me nervous when she’s giving me ear kisses because I’m afraid she will bite if I move wrongly, but I’ve learned to relax more with it.
  • As I mentioned above, she poofs her tail and drools when she’s happy. Usually when a cat’s tail poofs, it means they are scared, unhappy, or feeling threatened. With Sassy, it means that she’s SUPER happy.

*Sassy is also FIV+, so the combination of her sometimes aggressive and temperamental personality make it necessary for her to be separated from our other cats. If she were more laid back and non-aggressive, she would definitely coexist with our other cats. FIV+ cats CAN live with non-FIV cats with no issues if everyone gets along. 

Sassy Snuggles with Dad

As you can see, Sassy’s love language isn’t an easy one to understand. Because slight things can set her off, it would be easy to dismiss her as just being a mean and aggressive cat. While she has her moments, she has actually relaxed quite a bit over the last few years, and I can proudly say that I haven’t been bitten in quite some time. This in large part due to the work that I’ve put into understanding her and learning to speak “love” with her. She is actually a very sweet cat, and she has bonded strongly with both myself and my husband. She lives up to her name though, that’s for sure! 😉

Learning a cat’s love language isn’t always easy. Sure, there are some cats who are overwhelmingly sweet and win over everyone they meet, but for every cat like that, there is a cat like Sassy who is easily misunderstood and gets turned over to a shelter or tossed to the streets because her humans didn’t take the time to learn her love language. Just because a language is difficult to learn, doesn’t mean it’s not worth learning. In fact, it is often said that if you have to work harder for something, you will appreciate it more.

Sassy on a Piano

In case you missed the other posts in our series, The Love Languages of Cats:
Delilah
Sampson
Sophie
Caster
Kylo Ren

Do you have experience with a cat whose love language was difficult to learn? We’d love to hear about it! Share in the comments below. 

By Emily